And Miles To Go Before I Peep

Friend:	When and where should I pick you up?
Most people:	I'll just text you when
Friend:	When and where should I pick you up?
Me:	At exactly 17:00, central time. I will be at the Pizza Hut next to the Pflugerville High School sitting at the left-most both, I will be wearing a tan trenchcoat and a grey fedora with a yellow feather sticking out the top clutching a manila folder, when you see me nod three times and I will shake the folder up and down three times, if I do not shake it three times assume that my location has been compromised and head to the HHS black box lockers and look for a dufflebag listing our next meeting. If I do indeed match all descriptions knock the table two times in order to signify whether or not our plans can be carried out, otherwise walk off and I know where to go from there.

9 hours ago -

1

It’s video games. Specifically, video games you can win or finish. That’s ruined everything. When we were kids, there was one thing we all knew: The Space Invaders were coming. Yes, you could shoot at them, you could destroy them, and you might slow them down a little, but then they would resume their inexorable march. You couldn’t stop them. You couldn’t win against them.

Missile Command, as well. It only had one ending: the flashing words THE END accompanying the inevitable nuclear holocaust. Yes, you could somewhat postpone this, but it was going to happen. The question was not whether you’d fail, but how much time would pass until you fail.

This taught us the reality of life. There is no winning. You’ll never be on top of the mountain holding the sword and the princess with your foot planted on the corpse of the villain. There is no final boss who is difficult to defeat but still possible to defeat. There is only an endless marching horde of space invaders, bearing down on you until you submit.

Dave Lartigue

11 hours ago -

1

My Opera browser just updated.
Now everything is in German.

12 hours ago -

1

TEST YOUR KEYBOARD

lover-you-shouldve-come-over:

terraterracotta:

ragnarokhardabs:

neutral-hero:

nubbyshout:

theotherusernamewastaken:

adventurousjuggalette:

clairestanfield:

immortalsmoke:

owlites:

gravityisforsuckers:

Hold both shift keys down, and try to type “THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG.”

THKBNFJS THLAY DG.

holy shit

THE QICK BROWN OX JMPS OVER THE LAZY OG.

so close.

H QUCK BRN FX JUMS VR H LAZY DG

what even

THE QUICK BRPWM FPX JYMP{S OVER THE LAZY DOG
…

I WAS CLOSE.

THE QUIK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG.

i only messed up on one letter

THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG

what

what was this supposed to do

H CK BM FX JMPS V H LAZ DG

WHAT

LEMME TRY AGAIN

H CK BN FX JMPS V H LAZ DG

NO WHAT

HE QUIK BROWN FO JUPS OER HE LA DOG
Huh, not terrible.

THEQUICKROWFOXJUMPSOVERTHELZYDOG

THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG

Luckily I was blessed with long and skinny fingers.

THKBNFJSTHLAYDG

There are literally keys that will not work if both shift keys are pressed? What is this sorcery?

THKBNJSTHLAYDG
Does it have to do with the circuitry of each individual keyboard? If so that’s really interesting, two intersecting signals from two points that interfere with the circuit map itself. Or maybe it’s just magic.

1 day ago -

17430

spycheck:

ive been waiting

(Source: abcdefgheidi)

1 day ago -

24479

(Source: resistanceliveson)

1 day ago -

438

(Source: ilikemysugarwithcoffee-n-cream)

1 day ago -

46

There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you, or if you are hungry, let me bring you food, or if you have thirst and nothing will quench it but Arabian wine, I will go to Araby, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for your lunch. Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do.

William Goldman, The Princess Bride

1 day ago

bigredrobot:

phoning-it-in:

Four albums that are $2.99 a piece at AmazonMP3 right now that you absolutely should own if you know what is good for you.

For your health!

What.
This is too perfect.
It’s probably rigged.
They are going to track your purchases to find out where all the cool kids live.
Then all the uncool kids will kill them.
And the uncool kids will rule the world.

(via russiannovelist)

1 day ago -

22

I am a Taurus.
I am the opposite of this.
What is going on.

(via tonysmemoirs)

1 day ago -

55

(Source: sparklypancakes, via creaturesofbuddha)

2 days ago -

80

Nature’s all “welp humans, see that moon? Yeah, it’s like, hundreds of thousands of miles away. And even if you were patient enough to go that far, you can’t get out of your atmosphere. And even if you could, there’s no air. And if you somehow manage to evolve to the point where you no longer need to breathe (good luck!) there’s gently caress all there”, and we’re all “gently caress you and the horse you rode in on, we’re gonna build a rocket powerful enough to get out of the atmosphere, fast enough to get us there in a week, make snazzy spacesuits with tons of air, and when we get to the moon, we’re gonna play golf, just because we loving can.

2 days ago -

3

was i picked on in middle school? hmm let me think
* Weighed 750 pounds
* Parents were both Charles Manson (long story)
* Wore a bath robe to school every day
* Had the word “homo” instead of a mouth

2 days ago

And Miles To Go Before I Peep

TEST YOUR KEYBOARD

was i picked on in middle school? hmm let me think * Weighed 750 pounds * Parents were both Charles Manson (long story) * Wore a bath robe to school every day * Had the word “homo” instead of a mouth

was i picked on in middle school? hmm let me think
* Weighed 750 pounds
* Parents were both Charles Manson (long story)
* Wore a bath robe to school every day
* Had the word “homo” instead of a mouth